A Suggestion

A some suggestions regarding Baseball, steroid use, and what can be done to punish the players/fix the problem.

*ahem*

Any player caught using steroids that isn't retired must stop using said steroids and instead use an equivalent amount of estrogen injections over an equal period of time. Let's see how well they can field or hit the ball with pendulous man breasts a-floppin' every-which-way. Basically, the teams that kept it honest now will have the advantage over their newly breasted and constantly crying opponents.

Any player who admits to using steroids but is now retired must employ a pre-op tranny as his mistress and meet with her every other Tuesday for a game of 'catch'...if you know what I'm sayin', and I think you do. Also, they forfeit any chance at being in the hall of fame, unless there is a hall of fame for tranny lovin', in which case, have at it. AND their likeness is put on a commemerative baseball coin which may be collected, traded, or turned in directly to the player for a free kick to said player's steroid withered testicles sans cup.

The Jose Canseco Exception
If a player authors a tell all book exposing all other players for endulging in the same behaviors as said author, that player's picture must be placed in the dictionary next to the word Douchebag.

Bud Selig shall forever more be known as the George W. Bush of Baseball commissioners and be forced to wear women's socks for the remainder of his life.

Finally, the Yankees must pay every player the same amount, per year, forever, adjusted for inflation. I shall calibrate this equation by simply taking the Yankee with the highest salary and multiply that by 25. $6,250,000,000 that is what the Yankees MUST spend per year on player's salaries.

I just fixed Baseball, took me like, five minutes.